Your Sex Life Is Trying to Tell You Something About Your Health

Let's get into it...gently...without dodging the truth.

Sex includes pleasure and also information. Your body speaks long before it breaks. And sometimes, the first place it whispers is in the bedroom.

Pain. Dryness. Numbness. Low desire. Disconnect. Fatigue. Avoidance.

These aren't "just phases." They're signals. And too many of us have been taught to ignore them.

When Pain During Sex Isn't "Normal" (Even If You've Normalized It)

Pain during sex is one of the most commonly minimized experiences, especially for women.

We're told:

"That's just how it is."
"Relax. It'll loosen up."
"Maybe you're just tense."
"Drink a little wine and relax."

No.

Pain is not a personality trait. It's communication.

Pain during sex can be linked to:

Pelvic floor dysfunction
Hormonal shifts (perimenopause, postpartum, birth control changes)
Endometriosis or fibroids
Trauma stored in the body
Chronic stress or inflammation

And yet, people stay quiet. They endure. They dissociate. They perform through it. Because somewhere along the line, discomfort became the price of intimacy.

How Discomfort Became "Normal" in Sex

Here's the raw part.

Many of us were taught that:

Sex isn't supposed to feel that good
Wanting more makes you "extra"
Speaking up makes things awkward
Enduring quietly is mature

So instead of asking questions, we adjust.

We tense. We brace. We rush. We fake enjoyment.

We convince ourselves it's fine...until our body starts opting out altogether.

That's your body being fed up.

Pelvic Floor Health. The Thing Nobody Talks About (But Everybody Needs)

Your pelvic floor is involved in:

Orgasms
Arousal
Pain
Bladder Control
Core Stability
Even Lower Back Health

It go away by ignoring it. It just makes the messages louder. Tight doesn't always mean strong. Loose doesn't always mean weak.

Both can cause pain. Both can impact pleasure. Both desire attention.

Sex isn't supposed to feel like something you have to "get through."

Low Libido Can Be a Clue

Low desire doesn't mean you're broken, boring, or uninterested in your partner.

It often means:

Your nervous system is overloaded
Your hormones are out of balance
Your body is holding unresolved stress or trauma
You're exhausted...mentally, emotionally, physically
You don't feel safe enough to want

Libido lives at the intersection of hormones + stress + self-image + emotional safety

If any one of those are off, desire will shift. And instead of asking what's wrong with me? the better question is, what is my body responding to?

Sweet • Raw • Sticky - A Check-In

Pause here. Be honest, not harsh.

Sweet- Where does my body feel open...and where does it feel guarded during intimacy?

Raw- What have I been ignoring, pushing through, or telling myself it's "normal" when it doesn't feel right?

Sticky- If I listened instead of powering through, what might change about my sex life and my health?

Because what you ignore in January doesn't disappear. It just finds louder ways to speak.

Beyond Panic, It's About Presence

I'm not writing this to scare you. I'm inviting you back into a relationship with your body. Your sex life also protects you. And when you learn to listen...really listen...pleasure stops being performative and starts being informative.

This is Sweet • Raw • Sticky work.

And this conversation?

It's just getting started.

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Your Sex Life Is Trying to Tell You Something About Your Health

When Pain During Sex Isn't "Normal" (Even If You've Normalized It)

How Discomfort Became "Normal" in Sex

Pelvic Floor Health. The Thing Nobody Talks About (But Everybody Needs)

Low Libido Can Be a Clue

Sweet • Raw • Sticky - A Check-In

Beyond Panic, It's About Presence

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